


Stuck in a loop

by Hufflepuffarchive



Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Markiplier - Freeform, Markiplier egos - Freeform, redeemed Derek derekson
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:46:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hufflepuffarchive/pseuds/Hufflepuffarchive
Summary: a fic about Derek Derekson's motion disorder.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Derek suffered through a lot of things. He suffered living with an abusive drunk of a father, he suffered when he lost his loving wife that he cared about so dearly, and he suffered by losing all of his sons, leaving him with the youngest, which he thanks God every day for now. But the worst thing that he ever suffered through, that he still is suffering through was living with his... Rare Medical condition.

Around the time when Derek's wife, Mildred, was pregnant with her fifth child, Derek couldn't help but notice that he would repeat movements. It was small, his hand clicking a pen against his will, or twisting a doorknob back and forth longer than he should. Of course, it was nothing major, but that's how it all starts. It always starts out small... Before it got worse. One night while in the bed, Derek's pillow was rather uncomfortable, so he lifted himself up, hitting the pillow lightly to make it fluff out more, but he kept on hitting and hitting and hitting, his hitting slowly becoming punches. It was like he was stuck, repeating the same movements over and over. He couldn't even speak, his mouth wouldn't open, so he was just sitting there, hitting the pillow over and over, screaming through his lips, hoping his wife would hear.

Luckily for him, after punching the pillow countless times, it woke her up from her sleep. She opened her eyes, finding her husband looking at her with terror in his almost frozen features, yelling help through muffled lips. Terrified and confused, she sat up, trying to understand what was happening but for the first time, she didn't know what to do for him, all she could do was wait for him to stop, rubbing his back, and whispering to try and remain calm, trying to soothe him in any way she could, careful not to be near the area he was punching.

After an hour of this, he finally stopped, his arms giving out from under him causing him to land on his stomach. His arms aching to the point of tears, and he wasn't much of a crier back then. His wife held him close, telling him that they were going to the doctor's first thing in the morning.

After the visit to the doctor, it was discovered that he had a form of movement disorder, one of which no doctor has ever seen before. It was like his body was a broken record, repeating one movement over and over again. The bad news was that there was no cure for this. He was stuck with this disorder for the rest of his life, and there was a good chance it would get worse. However, the good news was that the doctor did prescribe him certain pills, that would stop his body from repeating movements. The thing was though, Derek had to remember to take them and he had a horrible memory, to begin with.

Yes, Derek had to deal with this disorder, and he thought he was getting better, that was until his wife, and all 14 of his children died, leaving him and his only son heartbroken. It only seemed to get worse after that. He didn't have his wife to remind him to take his pills and when he would have a new episode, it would last longer than the last, making him feel like he was stuck in a loop, making him feel pathetic... Perhaps he was pathetic. After everything, he put his only living son through, he felt that he deserved it.

...

Derek sighed as he read over his journal, making sure that he had everything on the list before he starts stocking up the warehouse for the day. When everything seemed to be in order, he went to write one check on the list, but he continued to put another check and then another. He blinked, pulling his hand away, praying that it wasn't another episode. To his relief, his hand finally stopped, dropping the pen, causing him to sigh, as he leaned down and picked up the pen. After he picked it up, he closed his journal and sat it to the side, ready to lift the boxes when-.

"P-POPS I'M HERE!" Eric popped out of nowhere causing Derek to jump turning to him, blinking. Eric was sweating, twirling his handkerchief in his hands, looking at his father in fear. "I'm s-sorry I was late... I-I woke up late m-my alarm didn't g-go off and-."

Derek just smiled, placing a hand on his son's shoulder, causing the boy to go silent. He just shook his head as he spoke. "It's okay son, you were up pretty late last night, I would understand if you were a few minutes late."

Eric sighed in relief as he looked at the boxes, before stuffing his handkerchief in his back pocket. "I-I'll start s-stocking up for today."

"Alright, you can lift these boxes over here. They're lighter." Derek pointed at the box on the far left, watching as his son got to work. After his son began to lift the boxes he went to lift the heavier ones himself. He picked one of the boxes up with a grunt, ignoring an aching pain that began to form in his arms. He turned around about to walk to a shelf to stock the beanies when-.

"Morning partner."

Derek looked up to see none other than Ed Edgar himself, walking in with a big smile on his face. The salesman just grinned as he walked past him. "Morning Ed, I was wondering when you were gonna show up."

"Sorry boss had to tend to my horses." Ed chuckled following Derek to the shelf, watching him open it up and unloading the beanies on the shelf. "And one of them escaped to I had to chase'em down." he sighed as he shook his head. "Beautiful creatures but hard work."

"You h-have horses!?" Eric gasped, holding a box.

Ed just grinned nodding his head. "Yes, son, I certainly do. A boy and a girl."

"Eric loves animals." Derek smiled as he finished unloading the box of beanies.

"Does he now?!" Ed grinned. "Well, how about I let you ride one of them when we get a free day."

Eric's face lit up with excitement, staring at the cowboy. "R-Really?!"

"Only if it's okay with your Paw here," Ed asked, patting Derek's shoulder.

"I don't see why not." Derek grinned as he sat up, throwing the box to the side. "But let's worry about unloading these first."

"Consider it done, boss." Ed began as he lifted a box along with Derek. "After this, we should have a coffee break before you open shop."

Derek sighed, looking at the cowboy. "You read my mind." with that, all three of them began to unload boxes.

After what seemed like an eternity, they finally had only one more box, Derek is the one to lift it, carrying it over to an empty shelf.

"That felt like that took forever huh Derek-?" Ed paused when Derek suddenly hissed, dropping the box as he held his right shoulder, his face full of pain. Ed's smile fell as he looked at Eric, who was just as concerned. "Derek you okay partner?"

Derek looked over at Ed, before sighing waving him off. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine just... Just getting old I guess." he lied, trying to hide the fact that he had another episode while doing one of his workouts. He tried to keep in shape so that he would be able to lift those heavy boxes, so he worked out his upper arms by lifting weights or doing push-ups. And last night his body decided to have an episode when he was doing his push-ups. He lost count at how many he did. In fact, he was in too much pain to care. The feeling of his arms going up and down was unbearable, his arms feeling as if they were on fire, his joints cracking and popping from the strain. Luckily for him, the episode only lasted for about 45 minutes, instead of being hours. But that still didn't help that he was sore as hell. He almost didn't get out of bed that morning, but he had never missed a day of work, and he'd be damned if he started missing now.

He sighed as he rolled his arm around, looking at Ed. "I'll be okay."

Ed gave him a nod. He still wasn't convinced, but he wasn't gonna push it any further. "Here I'll unload this box you just sit down and look over your diary." he joked.

"Hardy-har." Derek rolled his eyes as he walked over to his journal reading the list, checking all that was done today. Everything seemed to ready for the morning, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something, and he didn't know what.

After the three of them finished stocking, they teleported back to the ego inc, deciding to get a quick cup of coffee before opening the warehouse. They teleport right into the kitchen, where Dr. Iplier, Bing, and Randal were sitting drinking their own cups of coffee. Wilford and Dark were leaning on the counter, talking amongst themselves, smiling. But as soon as Ed, Derek, and Eric walked in, they all stopped speaking turning to them with warm smiles.

"Morning boys!" Wilford smiled as he walked over to Derek, patting his back. "Ready for today?"

"Yep." Derek sighed walking over to the cabinets, opening one up and pulling out an American flag mug out. "The warehouse is restocked and ready to go," he said as he grabbed the coffee pot and poured him a mug of coffee.

"That's good." Wilford smiled, before turning back to Dark.

Derek sighed as he sat in an empty chair next to Bing who was busy playing with a fidget spinner. He took a sip of his coffee, before turning to see Ed take a seat next to him, causing him to grin, before looking back at the table, deep in thought.

Ed noticed that he was silent, staring at the table in confusion. "You okay, Derek?"

"Yeah, I just... Feel like I'm forgetting something but I can place it." he shook his head, bringing his mug to his lips.

Eric walked over to Dark and Wilford. "Morning papa, father." he smiled, grabbing his yellow mug.

"Morning son." Wilford chuckled ruffling his hair, chuckling.

"How is your-." Dark paused, hissing in pain as he grabbed his neck, that kept on cracking.

Wilford noticed this. "Op, Darky, did you remember to take your meds this morning?"

Dark sighed, closing his eyes. "Shit!" he then let go of his neck. "No, I forgot, thanks, Wil. I'll be right back." Dark then left the room.

Derek blinked before realization struck him, causing his heart to skip a beat... He forgot to take his medication.

*Shit!*

Derek quickly sat up, causing Ed to jump, turning to him blinking under his sunglasses.

"Derek, you alright?" the cowboy questioned, watching as Derek waved him off.

"Yeah I'm fine," he whispered walking over to his cabinet that was next to Eric. "Scuse me, son," he whispered as Eric moved out of his way. Derek quickly opened the cabinet door, finding one of his pills sitting out in the open next to his bottle, which was a relief, because he didn't really want to shake the bottle and get everyone's attention. He grabbed the pill and quickly popped it into his mouth.

After that, he slowly turned around, taking a quick drink of his coffee to wash the pill down. He then went to sit the coffee down on the counter, when suddenly the coffee returned to his closed lips. "Hmm?" he tried to speak, but his lips were sealed shut and was unable to open his lips. That's when he realized he was having another episode.

The coffee was brought back to his closed lips once more, his hand working against his will, when suddenly his wrist tipped back, pouring the scorching hot coffee all over his lips and chin, burning the skin. "HHHHHMMMM!" he yelled, causing everyone to turn to him, their smiles wavering, watching as he continued to pour the coffee down his face, pull away and do it over again.

"Derek?" Ed sat up quickly walking to Derek who continued to pour it down his face. "Derek!"

"HHHMMM!" was all Derek could say, unable to speak, trying to will himself to stop. Luckily he took the pill so it should kick in at any time, but that doesn't change the fact that everyone was staring at him.

*Please kick in, please kick in, PLEASE KICK IN!*

At this point have of his hot coffee was pouring down his face, getting on his American printed shirt, but he still continued to bring the coffee back and forth, like a broken record.

"Derek! Derek stop!" Ed said as he put his hands on his shoulder, the other hand reaching for the mug.

Suddenly, Derek's hand came to a halt as he was finally able to gain control. He gasped as his lips finally open, backing away from Ed's touch. He cast his eyes to the almost empty mug before looking at everyone else. They all were staring at him in either shock, or confusion, but his son was looking at him with a knowing look, sadness on his features.

"Derek?" Ed questioned, placing a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention. "You okay, partner?"

"I... I-I."

"I knew you liked coffee but damn Derek." Bing joked, chuckling to himself when he jumped upon hearing a slam, turning to see Derek who had slam his mug on the counter, staring at Bing with anger in his eyes.

Eric jumped, holding his handkerchief close, casting his eyes to the ground, knowing that his father didn't take kindly to jokes.

Derek stared at everyone in anger, but they all cast their eyes to the ground avoiding his gaze, he just growled as he stormed out of the room, heading for his room to change.

"Derek wait!" Ed called out to him, the only ego that wasn't scared of him. "What was that?... Why did you-?"

"It's none of your damn business!" Derek snapped as he kept on walking, trying to ignore the cowboy, he was just too angry.

"Derek... Are you alright?" Ed tried, placing a hand on his shoulder, but Derek pushed his hand away.

"I'm fine." was all he said, still walking.

"Derek-."

"I said I'm fine!" he snapped, turning to Ed with anger in his eyes, before storming off, leaving the cowboy alone.

Ed slumped his shoulders watching as he disappeared into another hall. He turned around to see Wilford right next to him, sighing, patting Ed's back. "It's okay Eddy." Wilford began, looking down the hall with him. "You know how he gets. Just give him time."

Ed watched as Wilford's head back for the kitchen to try and calm everyone down. He then turned back to the hall, wondering one thing. What was happening to Derek?


	2. Chapter 2

It has been a couple of days since the incident and nobody has spoken to Derek since. Well, Ed was the only one trying to speak to him, but he didn't want to right now. He knew that Ed cared for his well being, and since he now knows somethings up, he wasn't gonna leave the salesman alone until he told him. Derek did want to tell him... He really did... But he just didn't want to bring him into this. Besides, there was nothing the cowboy could do to help. It was best if he just deals with it on his own.

Derek was now in his warehouse cleaning the areas around the cash register. He sighed rubbing his face, his hand resting on his chin. Luckily his chin didn't blister from the scorching coffee, so that was a plus, however it was still a little burnt, leaving the rather uncomfortable tender feeling. He then pulled his hand away, looking up to see his son sweeping, the boy's eyes cast to the ground. He couldn't help but notice that his son was a little jumpy around him do to what happened. He sighed as he closed the cash register, getting the boy's attention. "Son you know I'm not mad at you... Right?" he asked, looking back at his son.

Eric blinked, holding the broom tightly. "I-I know pops it's not that... It's just... It h-happened again and... I hate seeing you like that... Why can't you just tell them that you have-?"

"It's not their burden to carry son its mine." Derek interrupted, as he picked up the cleaning supplies. "They aren't the ones with this condition, so it shouldn't be their problem."

Eric pressed his mouth shut, looking at the ground, before hearing his fathers wrist watch go off.

Derek looked at the watch and sighed. "It's time to open shop," he whispered as he set the cleaning supplies in a locker, closing it up. "Listen, how about you take the day off and spend time with Randal and his gal. I can handle the fort here."

Eric blinked, shaking his head. "B-but you'll be working here all by yourself!"

"I'll be fine Eric," Derek said, turning from him.

"B-but what if you have another episode and I won't be around to-?"

"I said I'll be fine!" Derek snapped turning to him, but his harden features soften when he sees Eric flinch. He just sighed as he walked around the counter, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, taking the broom. "I'll be fine... Like I said it's something I have to deal with... Not you... Understand?"

Eric wanted to protest, to tell his dad he wasn't gonna leave him, but he knew how his father gets when he doesn't obey. He sighed looking down. "Yes pops," he whispered.

Derek just smiled, giving his son's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You're a good son," he whispered as he turned away.

"J-Just be careful today okay?... Love you pops." Eric whispered as he walked toward the door.

"Love you too, son," Derek said back as he walked back around the desk, ready to start the day.

...

Later that day, Ed was sitting on the couch in the living room, tapping his right heel, causing his leg to bounce up and down. This always happens when he's deep in thought and right now he was thinking of the incident with Derek and that coffee. The cowboy had never seen Derek like that before. The salesman looked like he was stuck in a continuous loop, repeating the same movements over and over again. It was very unsettling to say the least, especially when he was trying to yell through muffled lips like they were glued shut. It was a pretty frightening sight, and he hated that it was his friend that went through it.

"Uh um... M-Mr. Edgar?"

Ed jumped, snapping out of his thoughts as he turned around, seeing Eric standing there, holding his handkerchief closed. The cowboy smiled, turning to him. "Oh hey, Eric." he began. "You know you don't have to call me Mr. Edgar, you can call me Ed."

"Oh... O-Okay... Ed." Eric whispered as he looked down at his prosthetic feet.

"So what brings you back home? I thought you were working today."

"Pops sent m-me home." Eric sighed, looking back at the cowboy.

Ed's smile wavered a little bit. "Did he now?" he hummed, looking at the ground before he spoke. "I'd be afraid to leave him alone after what occurred a couple of days back... I never saw anything like it."

"I do want to stay but every time it happens he-." Eric froze, quickly pressing his mouth shut, hoping Ed wouldn't press the matter further, but his hopes were short-lived.

Ed blinked, looking back at Eric. "Wait... This happened before?" Ed questioned, watching as sweat began to form on Eric's face, his eyes wide as he looked around, looking as if he was trying to find a way to escape the conversation.

"I-I better g-go find Randal and Yan!" he abruptly shouted, before turning a heel, walking out of the room, but the cowboy quickly followed.

"Wait, Eric!" Ed called after him, following him down the hall. "Eric, hold up." he caught up to the timid ego, gently taking him by the shoulder, making him stop, watching as the Ego turned to him with fear in his eyes. "This happened before? This isn't the first time?"

"I... I-I... I'm n-not suppose to talk about it!" Eric whispered trying to leave again.

"Why? What is it? Why doesn't Derek want anyone to know?" Ed tried but Eric shook his head, casting his eyes to the ground. "Eric, please tell me."

"I c-can't," Eric whispered, hiding into his handkerchief.

"Eric I know you want to obey your father. I get that. But holding in something like this can be dangerous... I... I just want to help him... Please just tell me-."

"I-I can't!" Eric blurted out, squinting his eyes. "If pops finds out I told anyone about his medical condition, he'll-." Eric froze before gasping, slapping his hand over his mouth, staring at Ed in fear.

Ed's eyes widen as he stared at the now trembling ego. "He... It's a medical condition?"

Eric sighed as he squints his eyes shut, nodding his head, knowing it's no use to hide it anymore. "It's... It's an involuntary m-movement disorder." Eric began, slumping his shoulders. "No doctor has ever s-seen one like his before. Th-there isn't even a n-name for it... He h-had it even b-before I was even born... Whatever he h-has, it causes him to repeat m-movements at random times... Lasting l-longer than the last." Eric shook his head looking at the ground solemnly. "The longest episode he ever h-had was about s-six hours... From what I've seen."

Ed stared at the boy for the longest time, sadness in his features as he cast his eyes to the ground, thinking of what Eric had just told him. "How... How come he never told us?"

"He... He said it wasn't your problem or anyones... That it was his... And that he can handle it himself."

Ed sighed, looking at the ground once more, shaking his head. If he could handle it by himself then he wouldn't be having these episodes. He's been dealing with this all on his own with no one to help. How could he not see the sign!? Ed slowly looked up, as he spoke. "I'm gonna talk to him." was all he said as he walked past Eric, who shook his head in fear.

"N-no! If... If he finds out I told you he'll kill me!" Eric said, following Ed.

"Eric he isn't gonna kill you," Ed reassured still walking down the hall.

"N-no... Pops can't know that you know, he'll just reject your help and-."

"Eric." Ed turned to the boy placing a hand on his shoulder. "I can't let him suffer through this alone... And I know you don't want him to either... Right?"

Eric thought for a moment, looking at the cowboy before sighing, casting his eyes to his handkerchief. "You're r-right."

Ed just smiled, before disappearing, heading for the warehouse, causing Eric to blink. "Oh boy... ED W-WAIT UP!" he called out as he disappeared too.

"Here are your perches and thank you for choosing Derek Derekson's charity warehouse." Derek smiled handing a woman her purchases. "Buy it, today, have it your way."

"Thank you, sir." the woman smiled as she walked away.

"My pleasure, now you have your self a good day." Derek's smile wavered as she walked away, casting his eyes to the ground. Today seemed to go really slow without Eric or Ed. With those two around, they seem to make time fly. In truth, he wanted Eric to stay, but the incident had the boy shaken. He thought it was best to let Eric spend time with his friends. To help take his mind off of it.

Derek shook his head of his thoughts. Now was not the time to daydream. He went to reach for the lemonade that he had recently made when it slipped from his grasp spilling all over the glass counter. He huffed as he set the glass down, walking over to the locker, opening it up to see the Windex staring back at him.

The salesman grabbed the bottle and walked back over to the mess, beginning to spray the Windex on the spill. After spraying at the mess a couple of times he stopped going to grab the paper towels when suddenly he froze in place. He blinked, trying to move... But it couldn't. Then his and began to move on its own, spraying at the mess again, again, and again. He froze internally realizing he was having yet again another episode.

*No... No, not now! Please!*

But his pleading to stop was rejected, watching as he kept on spraying at the glass counter, the cleaner getting all over the counter.

*What am I gonna do?! I'm in public! I can't get my pills! how am gonna-?*

"Excuse me, sir? I'm ready to purchase." a man began, walking up to the counter.

Derek tried to look at him but his head wouldn't move, his terror-filled eyes casting in his direction. "H-Hel-hel-p." he managed to say finding that he could move his lips, but it was less than a whisper.

The man stood there, tapping his thumb on the counter. "Sir? I'm ready to purchase?" the man began once more, but Derek didn't turn around. He lifted an eyebrow, seeing that he kept on spraying the Windex. "Sir I think you got it." Still, Derek didn't move. "Sir... I said you got it... Sir?" the man took Derek by the shoulder, spinning him around which was a mistake.

Derek watched in horror as he involuntarily sprayed the Windex right in the man's eye, hearing him let out a yell as he covered his face.

Everyone who was around stopped what they were doing watching as the man yelled in pain, before pulling his head up looking at Derek with anger in his red irritated eyes.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!" The man shouted. "STOP SPRAYING THAT DAMN THING!"

"I'mmmm s-s-sorry... H-help-."

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME DIP SHIT!?" the man snapped grabbing him by his shirt, yanking him forward strangling him slightly. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!"

Derek tried with all his might to stop, to drop the bottle from his hand, but his body worked against him, all he could do was watch, feeling everyone's eyes on him. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he closed his eyes, waiting for this man to get it over with.

"You fucking asshole." the man growled rearing his hand back, clenching it into a fist, about to hit him when someone grabbed him by the arm.

Derek's eyes snapped open, seeing that it was Ed who had him by his arm, staring at the man in anger, while Eric was right behind him staring at him in fear.

Ed then yanked the man off of Derek, turning him around to face him, grabbing him by the shirt. "You keep your fucking hands off of him!"

"P-Pops," Eric whispered walking up to him, careful not to get sprayed by the cleaner. He watched as his father's eyes followed him, looking at him in terror, whimpering as he tried to speak but it came out as mumbles.

"Shshsh it's okay p-pops." Eric began, holding his shoulder, using his handkerchief to wipe his tears away. "It's okay."

"What the fuck is wrong with him?! Is he on drugs or something!?" the man snapped, glaring at Derek, before being pulled forward, being face to face with Ed who growled at him.

"He has a medical condition!" he snapped, before looking back at Derek, who stared at him in fear, still spraying the bottle that was now half empty. He then sighed looking at the man with a scowl. "You go wash your damn eyes out and get out!" He snapped watching as the man backed up, before storming away, flipping him off as he left. Ed then turned to everyone else, who just starred at Derek like he was a roadside attraction. "ALRIGHT THE SHOWS OVER EVERYONE GET OUT NOW!" he watched as everyone scrambled away, before turning to Derek, walking to him. "Derek... Derek, it's okay. We're here." he whispered, looking at the spray bottle, before taking it out of his grasp and setting it aside, but he still continued to move his fingers like he was still spraying the bottle. He then looked back at Derek, walking around the counter pulling him away from it, making him face him. "What... What do you want us to do... How can we help?"

"P-p-pills... M-My Pills," he mumbled, concentrating on speaking ignoring how his hand began to cramp.

"Pills?... Okay, where-where are they?" Ed asked, watching as he cast his eyes to the counter drawer. Ed nods his head as he opened the drawer finding the bottle of pills. He then quickly snatch the bottle, twisting the cap shaking a pill out into his hand. He then turned to Derek walking over to him. "Okay, I got it... Here," he said, putting the pill into his mouth, watching as he swallowed it.

After a few minutes, Derek felt as his hand slowly came to a stop, finally able to gain control. He gasped, trying to back away, but Ed held his shoulders.

"Derek... Partner take it easy okay?" Ed tried, watching as he stared at him in terror. "It's over... It's gonna be alright."

Derek stared at the cowboy a pained look in his features as tears streamed down his face. "Ed." he whimpered as he lunged at the cowboy, clinging to him, crying into his chest.

Ed stared at him in shock, before hugging him close, rubbing circles on his back. "It's... It's gonna be okay." he whispered looking at Eric, who walked up, hugging his father as well. He sighed laying a hand on Derek's head, brushing his hand through his hair, tears threatening to leave his eyes as well. "It's okay... You're safe now. I got you... I got you."


End file.
